TheRe now flollows is a PUBELIC INFNORMATION ANNOUNCEMINT by the GOBBLINGNS OF CLOVENSTONE.
3 TELL-TALE SIGNS THAT YOU IS BEIN INVADED BY DWARVES
1. MYSTERIUS CHIMBLEYS
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| Here (abuv) is a place that some dwarves invaded earlier. As you can see, dwarf mines needs air for the dwarfs to breathe so they builds big tAll VENTITILLATION CHIMBLEYS. If you look out in yore gaRden one day anD see a crop of tall stOne chimBleys, YOU HAS BIN INVADED BY DWARVES and they has probibly tunnilled unDer yore hoUse alreddy and is buzy diggin minEs in yore CellaR you is SO DOOOMED. |
2. MOLEHILLS.
If yore molehills is about as high as yOur knees, they is made by plane ordnirary MOLES and you has got noThingk to wurry about: moles is HARMLISS and FARELY TASTY (don't miNd iff I do nom nom yum burp etc).
Butt if yore molehills toWers above you to about the hiTe of a thrEe-story bilDing then they haS bin made by the dreAded gignantick DIREMOLES what the Dwarves have hArnissed to dig their mines and tunnils for them: YOU HAS BIN INVADED BY DWARVES quick Run Awaey!
Butt if yore molehills toWers above you to about the hiTe of a thrEe-story bilDing then they haS bin made by the dreAded gignantick DIREMOLES what the Dwarves have hArnissed to dig their mines and tunnils for them: YOU HAS BIN INVADED BY DWARVES quick Run Awaey!
3. LODES OF BLIMMIN DWARVES ALL OVER THE PLACE.
(This oNe is pritty mUch self eXplaNatory, reely.)
WHATT TO DO.
1. Do nott PICNIC.
2. Do nott PANIC. (To be oNnest this miGht be what nummber 1 was surPosed to say, we goTt a bit confused.)
3. Go to yoRe neereSt BUMWIPE SELLER and purChase a koPy of GOBLINNS VS DWARVES, the new WONDER BURK.
It tels the GRIPING TALE of the DWARVISH INVASUN OF CLOVENSTONE an contanes lodes of INFNORMATION about DWAVRES AN THERE WAYS an many usefull tricks an scheMes fer fightinG them.
Iff thoze doN't wOrk, at leest itt will wHile awAy the Time whil you Wate for the tiTchy gRumbleRs to undErminE yore fOundatIons an bRing yoRe houSe tumblin down in ROOINS on tOpp of yoo.
Good luck, sofFtlings, an remeMememBeR: WaTCH thE GROUND! EVReYWhERE! KeEP LOOKIN! KEEP WATChING THE GrOUND!
PS: We nicked the dwArves pichcter off of thatt HObtiT Movie they is just sum soFtlings dressed up (Reel dwarves HATE haviN there photos takeN.)
1 comments:
I think we have Diremoles. But we picnicked and it was alright. Nothing bad happened. I once caught a mole with a fork. I will try with the diremoles. If we can catch it I will bring it to your talk in Chagford what we are going to.
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