Roald Dahl Funny Prize Shortlist: Goblins Not Amused

It haz come to our attenshens wot ther is a fing coRled the Rooald Dahl Funy Priz and GOBLINS has got put on the shortList for itt.

We, the Goblinz of CLovenstone, iz not hapy about this.  Goblinz is NOT FUNY. Goblinz is TUOUGH and RUGgID and DANGERERUS. 

(Also DEVLILISHLY HANDSOME.)

 GoBLINS is nott ment to be a FUNY story. It iz GRITY SOCIAL REALISM an deeply MOOVING

Jus becoz this Mr so-called ROOLAD DAHL is a famurse soFtling riter and his mume and dadd couldn't spell Ronald duz not give him the rihgt to go about pokking fune at GOBLINS an making us a laughuing stokk.

Ower messidge to the JUDGIZ of the Hal Roulade Funy Prize iz thiss: DONT YOU DARE GIVE IT TO GOBLINS! Givev it to oNe of them soFTtling ritErs like Mr Frank Cockerel Boyce wot wrote thatt nice Exorcist tribute at the start of the Oplympics or thatt other wun you kno the one off the telly wot is a cross-chanel swimbler or the book about the SOCKS or the wun about the Draggon-siter OR the wun about the Tenage DaRk Lord cos Dark Lords is RUBISH. 

We knows whoo you is cos we has seen yore names on the BOOKTRUSS wesbite.  Ifs you gives the prize to ower book you is in bigg TRUBBLE we iz not saying WOT exacktly but we haz got a BRATAPULT and we iz not afrade to use itt.

So juss wotch itt OK?

Singed

ThE CLoVENSTonE GOBLINS